Category: Self Help Page 1 of 2
The New Year: Reflections on Growth, Gratitude, and Renewal
Each New Year, I like to pause and reflect—especially on the interview I did back in 2023 about New Year’s resolutions. Revisiting the chapters of my life has shown me that most things, even the difficult ones, carried purpose.
I’ve gained self-esteem that had far less to do with appearance than I once believed. My greatest achievements aren’t defined by accomplishments or accolades—they’re the people in my life: my husband, my children, my dad, and the closeness I share with my husband’s family. Over time, I’ve learned who my true friends are, even when that truth means relying more on them than on extended family.
Lessons from a Lifetime (So Far)
More than half a lifetime of learning has taught me the value of my career identity , forgiveness, impulse control, curiosity, and the courage to keep learning and asking new questions. And from my mom, I learned spirituality. Long before mindfulness became a trend, she lived it—believing in a higher power, a higher standard, and a higher level of thinking. She just didn’t always apply it to her own stress.
I see so much of her in me: her work ethic, her selflessness, her love for her career, and her advocacy.
From my father, I learned something unexpected. He always cared deeply about his patients, but I didn’t truly see the “social worker” in him until I worked alongside him during Covid. I watched him listen—really listen—to people having tough days. I saw the man who quietly supported struggling employees, who found joy in making others smile (which is poetic, given that he’s a dentist).
Those experiences helped shape my understanding of compassion, patience, and what it means to show up for others.
The Truth About Resolutions
I’ve come to believe that healthy, successful living isn’t about setting one big resolution for January 1st. Instead, it’s about creating fluid goals throughout the year. That’s how we grow happier, more fulfilled, more grounded.
If we wait for one single date, we end up fizzling out—just like those gym memberships that start strong in January and fade by February.
Of course, there is something powerful about January 1st. Maybe it’s the promise of renewal. Maybe it’s the hope of a fresh start. Or maybe it’s simply tradition—a day when we pause long enough to reassess where we’re headed. Whatever it is, it draws us in.
Embracing the Cycle of Life
Whether this past year brought grief or joy, illness or improved health, change or stability, it’s all part of the cycle of life. As we grow older, we inevitably gain wisdom and learn to take each day as it comes.
Be grateful for what you have… because it could always be less.
So as we move into a new year, celebrate what you’ve accomplished. Honor the people you love and the people you’ve lost. And remember that seeking support—whenever you choose—is an act of strength.
Wishing you a happy, healthy New Year! 🥂
Here’s to renewal, growth, and hope.
InspireAmind.net
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Mental Health Isn’t a Bonus – It’s a Basic Need
For 18+years, I’ve worked as a Clinical Social Worker in schools, nonprofits, crisis response, and private practice.
One truth has never changed: mental health is not optional.
Yet even in 2026, too many schools and companies treat mental health as an “extra” — nice to have if there’s a little budget left over, like a yoga class or free snacks. You can tell by reading or watching the news that …
That mindset isn’t just outdated — it’s dangerous.
We seem to invest in physical wellness everywhere: gyms, virtual reality, standing desks, wellness rooms. Why? Because healthy bodies = higher productivity, less absenteeism, more profit. Mental health works the same way.
In the same way, people that have access to consistent, quality mental health care, they’re more focused, more productive, and more motivated. Absent this essential wellness piece, the same or more burnout, absenteeism, conflict, and even violence — in schools, workplaces, and high–stakes industries like sports and entertainment have become common in the last 20 years.
Think about it: elite athletes and C-suite executives rely on their mental readiness to perform. They get therapy.
QUIETLY… Shhhhhh.
However, in many cases the professionals supporting them often earn a fraction of other critical roles, despite carrying heavy emotional responsibility.
Becoming a MSW Master Social Worker (MSW) costs over $160,000 in state education ( for an undergraduate degree) then a further two year graduate degree for MSW licensing – and yet at the start … salaries barely touch student loans.
For a License in Social Work $275.00 for LMSW
Example : graduate …
- 60 credits
- 900 total practicum hours (420-hour foundation practicum + 480-hour advanced year practicum)
- Offered full time (2 years) or part time (3 years)
Graduate costs fluctuate-
This is not sustainable in the future!
If we don’t advocate for change – the next generation of talented, passionate mental health professionals will look elsewhere.
The new generation
•inspired by us
•High-risk of burnout
•Risk of higher turnover rates
• In search of for less demanding
•looking for higher-paying work .
RESULT – The system suffers. People Suffer!
Here’s the bottom line:
- Mental health isn’t a luxury – it’s foundational.
- It belongs in every system, just like physical health.
- Professional’s doing this work deserve pay that reflects their impact — including help with student loans.
We must invest in care, not crisis.
People going to therapy shouldn’t be visible — it means it’s working. It means they’re safe and learning skills to thrive.
Mental health care is the bedrock of our society. Let’s value the professionals who provide it – because they matter.
YOU ARE WORTH IT!
#MentalHealthlsHealth #BuildUSUp #SupportTheSupporters
Therapy – Motivation
Change
Change
Each year, things change—from the newest trends in fashion and home decor to small and large changes in our jobs, at home, in some of our friendships, and on the greatest scale, societal or government regulation changes. Many of these things impact us differently. Since the most recent pandemic, war, national unrest, or even a recent tragedy your family may have gone through (such as illness, severe weather, violence), we tend to look at things differently on the other side.
The most important thing to remember is who we are, and if we didn’t know, we do now. What shapes us into who we are is our character, our hardships, and how we face those challenges and move forward. More than ever, reality TV is perpetuating PTSD with shows like the final Squid Games (June 2025) and others that seem voluntary but make people completely vulnerable and captive. Our society of violence already provides that (through movies, books, and our never-ending supply of real-life mass shootings). I don’t mean to say that people haven’t come together and formed united fronts on this, but the burden is heavy. When you think of fashion or the color of your decor as being too much, stop thinking and enjoy the moment.
Perspective
The majority of my practice today centers around anxiety and continuous thoughts of worry. People of all ages have begun to get out of their heads and realize it is okay to get help during or shortly after the pandemic. Our teens today will never have the same life experiences as those of us who never had our schools shut down during their time to learn social skills and lay the groundwork for their academic future. We must allow for these differences but not excuse them; we have to teach what was not taught. In between, as young adults struggling in this world with uncertainty, I remind you that nothing has changed: illness, war, shootings, and hardship have always been there. It is how you choose to educate yourself, rise above, and shine beyond the pale that matters. Learning to utilize support and continue on is a way of life! You’ve got this!
Do not give in to fear. Expect it, control it, and live your life.
Self-Talk
Self-Talk / Mindset
Practice positive self-talk; treat yourself as though you believe in yourself. Be someone you would want to stay friends with. Once you treat yourself with respect, you’ll find forgiving yourself for small things you typically question to be trivial. Practice treating others with care. We never know what has happened in someone else’s world. Not everyone brings their personal life into each conversation. Knowing this, we need to respect people’s boundaries, bad days, and tough moments. Look a little deeper this year while at the same time feeling a bit lighter! Perspective can create a whole new mindset
InspireAmind®️
Inspiring One Mind at A Time!
Welcome to 2025-2026
Marcy Abramsky, LCSW
InspireAmind.net
AbramskyInspireAmindcoach.com
Try these…
STRENGTH
Especially in our society today .. know the way to SELF CARE…don’t be afraid to take HELP and locate RESOURCES…face CHALLENGES down by using…STRATEGIES…find YOUR EMOTIONAL STRENGTH !
©2021 Not for reproduction or use without consent.
COMMUNICATION
What are the strengths we have that support the way we communicate?
They are unique to all of us.
©2021Not for reproduction or use without consent.
DAILY MINDSET
Engage in activities that remind us daily of things that inspire us, keep us grateful, and our mindset, positive ..
Schedule an Appointment Today 🔵
©2021Not for reproduction or use without consent.
Value Yourself & Self – Care Activity
Self-Care is vital for managing your mental and physical health. Check out the information below. Look at areas of life where self-care makes an impact.
Do you accept the challenge and will you look at the areas of your life to determine if you have what you need?
GOAL: To begin the practice of self-care. Engaging in decisions that are the outcome of critical thinking. Managing your life in a healthier way!
Positive Mindset
A positive mindset, awareness, ability to be present and cope with life stressors! Feeling empowered to live a healthier.
Decrease Feelings of Overwhelm
Manage stress, reducing immune issue’s, and increasing energy and the likelihood of success.
SELF-CARE AREAS • WHAT DO THEY MEAN TO YOU
PHYSICAL SELF-CARE EMOTIONAL SELF-CARE
SOCIAL SELF-CARE SPIRITUAL SELE-CARE (for some) PERSONAL SELF-CARE
HOME ENVIRONMENT SELF-CARE FINANCIAL SELF-CARE WORK, SCHOOL, CAREGIVING & OTHER RESPONSIBILITIES
IN WHAT WAYS WILL YOU PRACTICE SELF-CARE ?
Begin your day with…
a post-it ( quote or inspirational saying or word)
a song ( inspirational)
or exercise (feels good)
During the day…
use an affirmation app on your phone
take short breaks
always nourish ( meals)/ water
find hobby or enjoyable activity
Find a work / life balance.
All enhance mood⬆️
End your day with…
relaxation techniques
reading
reflection
spa music
sleep ( get enough restful sleep)
Violence in Our Society is Increasing; What do you do?
Active Shooter Situations are just not going away! Malls, Movies, Public Transportation, Attending Religious Worship, Work, School, and Grocery Shopping… where does it end?
Many different people have thoughts on how best to handle this.
I’ve put together some thoughts on the issue and go into further depth in a book/ guide that I am writing.
Covering relatable situations that you are seeing in your city and on the news. Situations like Active Shooters, Kidnappings, Terrorist Attacks, Terminal Illness, Grief/ Loss, Pandemic ( isolation, vaccination, various stages with a multitude of views), Self-Advocacy, Schools, Work Settings, Court, Abuse, Stress/ Overwhelm, and Living in the Present and not the Past!
Other Topics: Talking to Children about these situations, and helping Children as the NEXT Generation learn from this.
Many people already have learned these skills, but, panic under the pressure of the moment as it is unknown when it will happen.
It is your mindset is positive, and you are aware of these skills and more in the guide, using the tools in an emergency, can make all the difference!
An excerpt from a book that I am writing …
———Following the largest mass shooting in Buffalo, NY … I will share a bit about managing an active shooter situation, as a civilian.
Violence in our Society… May, 2022
Do Not Be Afraid, Be Prepared, Knowledgeable, Be Smart
Shooters are Shaky….Do You Really Want To Test This Theory If You Have Other Options?
First, since you initially don’t know their motive, you cannot be sure the person(s) are shaky or nervous. In a robbery, it’s possible, but even that could lead to a more trigger happy, fearful shooter. This is a big risk, if you are contemplating what skills to use first. Attacking the shooter, would ALWAYS be a last resort. In a mass shooting with this level of artillery and the shooters level of protection, it would be highly risky to further anger the shooter and due to the surprise attack, your positioning would likely not be correct in time; leaving a calm person unable to help anyone and probably a casualty.
Next, the vast majority of recent shooters have been very clear in there resolve. Racism or hate crimes are pretty solid beliefs for these outliers in society, rarely clinically, mental health oriented. A medication for racism is not out there and it’s not chemical, it’s usually deeply embedded into who you are. This is a terribly sad and dangerous thing. There is MUCH more we could be doing about this.
They are people, that like anyone else may have started out feeling more isolated ( typically have a history of school problems and suspensions) if old enough, they usually have at least minor criminal to FBI linked crime backgrounds. They then stay quiet for a bit, in their planning stage. They find like – minded people to connect with or use social media to share and WANT notoriety, and much like in the Colorado school shooting, and Sandy Hook, it is usually religious “do you believe in god?” a question before one victim was shot, or peer anger -based when a past known loner to the FBI who attended the school, or in a number of shootings in churches, synagogues religious and racially biased and believe that people ( races etc.) are responsible for the worlds problems.
It is essentially a flawed thought process that you cannot reason with. However, although we may feel it’s mental illness, much like Hitler and Putin, and the terrorists of 9/11, these people, teens and children kill for causes they believe in. This is why, it is not the same as an average robbery, kidnapping, or crime… these are always deadly and we see the words “mass” next to shooting more than ever.
Who are these people?
These, typically men, at younger ages now where Kevlar and have actually prepared themselves to be protected to withstand police and civilians for a longer period of time, for the maximum amount of chaos they can inflict. They have gone from trench coats to army tactical gear. This makes them more dangerous, they live through their genocide. The moment some of them ( especially Americans) cannot count on, as they are not necessarily born terrorists, as in other countries … is whether they can end their own life after like those they worshiped before them. That in itself shows they’re mental capability to want to live, or in the cases in which they do their choice to not live imprisoned after completing what they “needed to do”.
Our Management of these types of Situations –
In a similar way that you cannot reason with the years of a persons’ neurological programming, you can do very little without the knowledge of why they entered your environment. Armed and prepared with heavy artillery, when you don’t know the reason, it is dangerous to assume you can overcome them.
How do I know?
I have worked with people that hold these views … you cannot say all but for many it is a well thought out plan that hold no room for anyone’s interference. Even if you are “their” race, color or creed, you are compromising their MISSION. You will be the next “man” down and may save no lives, and even strengthen of what “needs” to be done.
According to FBI training, in active shooter situations you should do exactly what I believe your instinct should already tell you to:
Run ( a little insight here) since you don’t know if there are other’s involved, or if SWAT is outside, try not to run for a main exit. Look for any back exit where the shooter won’t see you, unless you are in a place with a practiced method ( school). IF YOU RUN, look carefully to see nobody was hurt in that area, so there is no second shooter situation, and run out quietly with your arms above your head. This is so important, if SWAT or police see you – they will see your arms up no weapon cell NOT in your hand. They cannot mistake you for any accomplice, or possessing a weapon.
Hide personally, coming from a school background ( hide) stay put is what I learned. If possible follow the plan. However, if your business, or school or in this case a store, doesn’t have you in a locked room all day – you have no warning. You have no choice but to try to get out.
Hiding is a good option! Schools are now supposed to conduct classes with locked doors ( at least in NYS) or posses a safety plan that gives minutes longer for preparedness. While hiding I urge my own children to follow protocol but in serious situations to stay calm and be as prepared as possible. They will know the time, and when they do, they are to dial 911 on their cell and lower the volume so nobody inside the room can hear the operator. The location will be tracked. This is important in case something happened where nobody was able to call the police prior! No matter where you are, if you have any knowledge prior, and not enough time to move -get a piece of clothing under the door to avoid seeing your movements and get the heaviest largest metal file or items in front of the door as fast as possible while staying out of the line of fire and stay away from windows.
I firmly believe all offices, and schools should have a white board with a bully proof side that can be wheeled in front of the door and garage like pulls that can come down over windows and /or doors. You need protection fast.
Fight
The ability to know what to do for yourself, how to provide first aide and stay as calm as possible to think, are the key to survival, other than luck itself.
FBI indicates that if you must fight
AS A LAST RESORT, IF YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO OTHER OPTION
1. Do not fight fair or in a disciplined manner.
2. Be aggressive and commit to your actions
3. Throw items, use anything you can as a weapon.
4. Survive by any means necessary
As with the case in Buffalo, NY you can never be sure ( initially) why someone is acting out violently. When people are dedicated to their cause, notions for how to make changes, and follow those before them; no matter how distorted their perception, it fits for them. Their planning, and energy has been tied to a theory of hate, and they are focused on carrying out their intentions with purpose.
CHANGE IS NEEDED. No matter what the weapon, poison, a car, a virus it would happen. It is the belief system and neurological programming, either when young, or that he turned to. CHANGE IS NEEDED.
Speaking with Middle Schoolers and up is very similar
A simple explanation..
There are people everywhere that don’t “fit in”. At times, they turn to extreme groups, or find people online to connect with – or even connect with people they idolize who are no longer alive! The connection maybe over notions that are not rational but make them stand out for there differences and FINALLY get notoriety !
-There are also people that are programmed neurologically that need help becoming “deprogrammed” and from generations prior, only have the “tools” they have to change their thinking on their own. Through their own lens of their life experiences, and finding more on social media that helps them blame other races for what they go through, their extremism takes flight. This can be confused for mental illness, but in the case of the Buffalo shooter, it appeared to be a likely case of a flawed belief system, a plan and a goal to be like those he idolized.
Profiles of Shooters:
From the profile of many shooters, we can see their age and profile to be similar, many have had school behavior, social issues and difficulties early on. Either known to their family or known to officials early on .. they had been involved in crimes prior.
The majority are white and their teens to 30’s and go after either their previous schools where they believe people have “wronged them” still asking about religion, ”god”, or are racially motivated or related to gangs.
A few have been random outliers, personal ( ie. workplace, Las Vegas ). Most have been hate crimes, churches, synagogues, mosques, and specifically for related to to target those at worship.
The most significant thing are that the typical profile, is that of one that appears isolated, antisocial, violent thinkers, and believe in their own reasons to die for their twisted cause.
Following Pre-teens and teens should be aware of the FBI’s active shooter training. In schools or places where emergency plans are state / federal law, everyone should remember to follow their organizations plan and know that they are safe, unless they see red flags. They need to know what to look for so they don’t guess. People are safe, realistically this is happening more and more.
Best Practice :
School Classroom doors should remain locked at all times.
•this gives people an extra min or two to prepare rather than easy entry into the classroom. The more time you have to stay safe, the better.
These protocols should be practiced.
I have worked with kids that made hit lists and weapons in school, and we’re gang involved. It is real.
•Kids should be taught if they EVER feel they need to run, their hands should be up, and cell phone in a pocket. If you raise a cell and come darting out of a building, on their own you run the risk of SWAT not knowing if you are the shooter, an accomplice and if your cell is a weapon.
•now more than ever, people should know not to open doors for old students or staff, or employees that were “let go”, who don’t use the front door or show proper ID, and carry anything with them. If they have no appointment, they should not come into the building.
•students and staff should know how to use their cell, they need to feel prepared. They need to know how to summon help in case the people they rely on to call are unable. Dial 911 and lower/mute the incoming volume. The can trace the phone and listen.
After/If all school plans have ever been exhausted, Run, Hide, Fight (only as a last resort) as per the FBI suggestions I have repeated here and learning a bit about first aid.
According to FBI training, in active shooter situations you should do exactly what I believe your instinct should already tell you to:
Run ( a little insight here) since you don’t know if there are other’s involved, or if SWAT is outside, try not to run for a main exit. Look for any back exit where the shooter won’t see you, unless you are in a place with a practiced method ( school). IF YOU RUN, look carefully to see nobody was hurt in that area, so there is no second shooter situation, and run out quietly with your arms above your head. This is so important, if SWAT or police see you – they will see your arms up no weapon cell NOT in your hand. They cannot mistake you for any accomplice, or possessing a weapon.
Hide personally, coming from a school background ( hide) stay put is what I learned. If possible follow the plan. However, if your business, or school or in this case a store, doesn’t have you in a locked room all day – you have no warning. You have no choice but to try to get out.
Hiding is a good option! Schools are now supposed to conduct classes with locked doors ( at least in NYS) or posses a safety plan that gives minutes longer for preparedness. While hiding I urge my own children to follow protocol but in serious situations to stay calm and be as prepared as possible. They will know the time, and when they do, they are to dial 911 on their cell and lower the volume so nobody inside the room can hear the operator. The location will be tracked. This is important in case something happened where nobody was able to call the police prior! No matter where you are, if you have any knowledge prior, and not enough time to move -get a piece of clothing under the door to avoid seeing your movements and get the heaviest largest metal file or items in front of the door as fast as possible while staying out of the line of fire and stay away from windows.
I firmly believe all offices, and schools should have a white board with a bully proof side that can be wheeled in front of the door and garage like pulls that can come down over windows and /or doors. You need protection fast.
Fight
AS A LAST RESORT, IF YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO OTHER OPTION
The ability to know what to do for yourself, how to provide first aide and stay as calm as possible to think, are the key to survival, other than luck itself.
FBI indicates that if you must fight
1. Do not fight fair or in a disciplined manner.
2. Be aggressive and commit to your actions
3. Throw items, use anything you can as a weapon.
4. Survive by any means necessary
The more prepared you are, the more prepared the kids are, the better you can all handle these awful situations. It is a reality, as the following day two more shootings took place.
Children shouldn’t fear each day, but they should be aware by middle school that violence is real. My kids experienced violence on their bus each day in elementary school and middle school. This is an escalation of hate and violence. When words stop-and weapons are involved.
Just some thoughts on the subject- one perspective….
Making change, starts with education.
I hope we will live in a world one day where that is possible.
by M. Abramsky, LCSW©️2022
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